The 2018 All About Richard Calendar, April


So, here’s the deal about the note and RV ornament I received from Richard.

The 2018 All About Richard Calendar, April

We had just moved into our first house with a 4 year old, a 9 month old, a cat, a dog, a snake named “Buddy,” and a goldfish named “Twirly Norman.”

Unopened boxes in every room served as furniture. We were all exhausted.

And that’s when Richard announced he had to travel to New York for business.

I wasn’t happy he was going to leave me alone with mountains of unopened boxes labeled “misc,” two small children, and half of Noah’s Ark, but business is business.

Until it isn’t.

After letting me know he was going to New York Richard said, “Ya know, I really could use a break. Since Atlantic City is so close to New York, I think I’ll extend my trip a few days and spend a little time there. Whatta you think?”

Whatta’d I think? I thought a lot of things. None of them were nice.

“No, I don’t mind,” I thought to myself. “Of course you deserve a break. I don’t. But you do. Go. Go, Oh Wonderful Husband of mine. Go. Enjoy yourself. Don’t even think about the kids and me.”

After retrieving my jaw from a box labeled “Dumbbells, and Other Assorted Crap” I said, “Look. You decide what to do. I’m sure if you think about it long and hard enough you’ll do the right thing.”

So, Richard went to Atlantic City for five days after a short meeting in New York.

He came home looking relaxed and happy.

I looked disheveled and displeased.

Richard tried to show remorse, but it’s not in his DNA. However, as a peace offering, he gave me the note in which he kinda, sorta, promised never to leave me alone again to go to Atlantic City, and a cute little ornament of the RV he’d be living in if he did.

Where suggestions go to die

Richard has never had much use for opinions other than his own.

Whenever I’d try to share my views with him about something…ANYTHING, he’d plaster a look on his face feigning interest, even though I knew he had none.

When I’d finished making my case he’d just stare at me. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? What was I supposed to do with that?

Once in a while, if I was lucky, I’d get a “duly noted.” Gee, Darling, thanks for throwing me a bone.

Around 20 years ago, in an attempt to assuage my frustration, I made a unique suggestion box for Richard’s desk at home. Suggestions could go in, but there was no way to get them out.

Richard’s Suggestion Box is still as relevant today as it was when I made it. He still doesn’t give a tiny Gerbil’s ass about what anyone else thinks.

In the nutshell of our life together, the only opinions or ideas that matter are Richard’s. The worst part is he’s usually right, damn it.

At the bottom of the blog post The 2018 All About Richard Calendar, I said I’d write about each month in more detail. So, here’s another look at the month of August, and close-ups of Richard’s Suggestion Box.

The 2018 All About Richard Calendar, August
The Top
The Front
The Back
The Side
The Other Side
The Bottom

#lesliejochase_imarried him anyway, The 2018 All About Richard Calendar

There He Stood in the Doorway

One Wednesday night as I sat doodling in my Religious School notebook I suddenly sensed his presence.

A Force Awakened me, causing the purple Flair pen to drop from my hand.

I turned my head toward the doorway of the classroom, and there he was. I’d seen Richard before, but on that night, I finally noticed him.

As he sauntered past my desk, I became captivated by his long, wavy, rebellious hair, groovy corduroys, Camp Kawaga jacket, and a smirk that just wouldn’t quit.

Thinking back on that night, I imagine it all happening in super slow-mo, and hearing this music in my head:

Richard’s Sauntering Music: The New Cars, “Moving in Stereo”

(Press the arrow on the left, and make sure the volume on your computer is turned up.)

#lesliejochase.com_imarriedhimanyway, #humor, #starwars, #campkawaga, #thenewcars #It’sAlive!, #toddrundgren, #movinginstereo

The title of this blog, “There he Stood in the Doorway” is loosely borrowed from The Eagles song, Hotel California. I also tweaked the lyrics of the song a little because it sums up what was yet to come…

“There he stood in the doorway,
I heard the classroom bell
And I was thinking to myself,
‘This could be Heaven or this could be Hell.’”