Why did Leslie cross the road?

To help out my dear friends, Sharon and Aaron on their 11th wedding anniversary, I told them I would come over this afternoon, whether they were home or not, to hang “scare tape” in their yard.

Scare tape is mylar ribbon that repels predatory birds by reflecting sunlight, thus scaring them off. When well-hung in a yard, it serves the dual purpose of festooning your patio as you and your guests sit on the veranda sipping lemonade, while, simultaneously warning birds of prey to “stay off my property.”

Scare tape (ribbon)
Scare tape

The reason for The Hanging of The Tape was due to an unfortunate and tragic event last week. Bucky the chicken was abducted by a mean, old hawk.

All who had met and gotten to know Bucky were quite shocked and saddened by the news of her untimely and sudden demise. As chickens go, and I haven’t met many, what Bucky lacked in stature, she more than made up for in personality and moxie.

Bucky, of blessed memory, hanging with the big girls.
Bucky, of blessed memory, hanging with the big girls.

Our friend, Roberta, had a surplus of scare tape in her garage after a recent avian experience of her own having to do with a persistent bird trying to commit a “B & E.”*

Sharon, Roberta, and I spent a recent afternoon hanging scare tape in the yard in an attempt to prevent future carnage. It was a solemn affair, as we were all still reeling from the sudden loss of Bucky, may she rest in peace.

A moment of silence for Bucky, please.

I arrived in the yard today, as promised, after yoga practice. I had forgotten my boots, so I slipped on a pair of shoes from “Sharon’s Outdoor Walking Amongst Backyard Crap Collection,” which, by the way, I think the Kardashian sisters should consider adding to their line of shoes at Dash, their store in New York.

I snipped the ribbon and tied it along the fishing line that Sharon had hung with care in a perfect grid only an artist of her caliber could conceive. (She also created the cartoon of my family for my blog, so check that out!)

As I am often reminded, I am short. Thankfully there was a step-stool available for my convenience so that I could tie the ribbon to the fishing line.

As I backed off the step ladder, I lost my balance (shocking, I know,) and fell butt-first into a kiddie pool frequented by the ducks in residence. Luckily, no ducks were harmed in this piece of non-fiction.

The pool, after I fell into it.
The pool, after I fell into it.

As I do on nearly a daily basis, I just sat there, laughing out loud. I was slightly upset that no one witnessed my magnificent backwards swan dive, but profoundly relieved that I had chosen to drive my car today, and not Richard’s.

So, Sharon, this should explain why your waterlogged shoes are up on the glass table under the pergola, and, the obvious lack of additional scare tape hanging in your yard.

I tried to continue the task at hand, but began to feel squishy, and not in a good way. I piled up the reusable grocery bags I keep in my car, and then placed my sweatshirt on top of them to keep my contaminated derrière from soiling the interior of my car.

And, I want you to know that I recently had my physical and am up to date on all my shots, so hopefully your fowl will not succumb to my foul.

I also hope I did not contract the quack.

I have showered, am boiling my clothes, and toying with the idea of taking another shower. I am a big believer in no crap left behind.

So, please enjoy your anniversary. I will come back another day to hang more tape when I’m feeling less flighty.

In the meantime, every two hours, Richard is checking me for signs of:

1. Foul mood (there’s always a possibility of that, duck crap, or no duck crap)

2. The uncontrollable urge to scratch at the ground with my feet

3. Brooding (see #1)

4. Excessive preening

5. Unusually daffy behavior (again, always a possibility)

6. Strutting (my stuff)

7. Finding me asleep with my head turned toward my back

8. An uncomfortable feeling of being cooped up 

9. Involuntary arm flapping

10. Smacking him on the head, shouting, “Goose,” and running away.

*Beaking and entering

Hopefully New and Improved from an Hour ago! It’s Fro-back Friday! The Saturday Edition!


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Veronica’s “selfie” after she brushed out her curls.


Side view of Veronica after she brushed out her hair to illustrate tat her hair needs its own zip code.
This side-view of Veronica after the brush out illustrates that her hair needs its own zip code.









Welcome to the Saturday Edition of Fro-Back Friday!

Besides the hair pix you all know and love, I’d like to introduce you to a few of my favorite things. Okay. Who did not just sing that last line?

Below I’ve listed links to some of the blogs, websites, and people I follow. There are many more that I’ll share with you in another post.

The idea for this post came to me as I flailed about trying to put together Pinterest boards. It occurred to me, between all the swearing and deleting, that Pinterest is a really fun way to organize things; and I’m allergic to organization. I mean hives. All over.

By the by, if you understand the way in which Pinterest works, please feel free to explain it to me. And please visit my pin cushion and look for the new pins I’ll add once I know what the heck I’m doing.

Leslie’s Pinterest Pin Cushion


If you don’t have a pin cushion on Pinterest, consider yourself normal, and just click on the links below to view some of the stuff I pinned.


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Lesley Smith in our backyard showing me which trees are healthy, and which oes need to leave (lol!)


If you’re a tree-hugger, like I am, who doesn’t know the difference between a Box Elder and a Buckthorn, (ISA) Certified Arborsmith’s Lesley and Gilbert Smith can help. Lesley came over a few weeks ago and helped me figure out what to do with the “back 40,” as I like to call our wooded area, after we lost 13 Ash trees last year. And, no, I didn’t hire them because her name is “Lesley,” nor did I hire them because of their clever name. But, ya gotta love the name.

Subscribe to their free newsletter, “Our Wisdom.” http://www.thearborsmiths.com/our-wisdom/

Be-leave me, they know what they’re talking about. (Sorry! I couldn’t resist that one.)



Duke and Sam Kahanamoku
Duke and Sam Kahanamoku









The Blog of Funny Names


I don’t know how, but this blog finds the funniest names in every area of life,  from FIFA to surfer-dudes.


The Blue Coast Artists


Go “behind the scenes” and tour the artists’ studios. The link below has all the info. you’ll need about the artists, Harvest Country, and the 2014 Blue Coast Artists’ Fall Tour Map.



The Comic Torah


Reimagining the Very Good Book

Co-created by Sharon Rosenzweig and Aaron Freeman




Eugene Finerman



Self-described writer-researcher-autocrat, and former Jeopardy! champion, EugeneFinerman, makes history fun and slays me with his RDA of Irony. I even got to meet him once! It was very cool.



Graphic Medicine


Healthcare meets Comedy. Remember, laughter is the best medicine!


The Grimm Report




Written by a team of cleverly creative contributors, The Grimm Report blends satire, current events, fairy tales, and folklore. Its sponsors are The Muffin Man, and Humpty Dumpty’s latest book (now available in paperback!) Facing My Inner Chicken; Life as an Eternal Egg.

The Heron’s Path


Author Alethea Eason’s website offers a variety of her fictional works, which are, to someone like me who writes non-fiction, well, mind-blowing! How does she think of this stuff?

I Didn’t Have My Glasses On   


“A Trip Through Life with my Fingers Crossed and Eternal Optimism” pretty much says it all.



Because I am also hearing-impaired, I find Jenny’s ability to find the humor in life, (“I’m deaf, not blind”) inspirational and hilarious.

The Jump for Joy Project









Eyoälha Baker’s photo project JUMP FOR JOY is my daily smile.

Khneumu Studio on Fernwood Farm


I wrote a story about The Blue Coast Artists for LAKE Magazine and fell in love with Fernwood Farm, Dawn Soltysiak, her chickens, cows, dogs, peacocks, turkeys (the feeling was not mutual with the turkeys), and the beautiful, handcrafted pottery she makes. Khnemu Studio is a Member Studio of The Blue Coast Artists (website listed above.)

Matthew Inman; The Oatmeal


Cartoons, comics, and hilarity

Mind, Body Golf


PGA Pro Rick Williams’ writing style is as easy as a conversation with a good friend. Rick’s positive philosophy makes him my guru when it comes to golf, family, a colorful wardrobe, and the importance of beautifully plated, healthy, well-prepared meals. His photos are the icing on the cake.

The Return of the Modern Philosopherf4f7117d883e9636c329793584d27acd


Screenwriter Austin Hodgens writes The Return of the Modern Philosopher; Deep thoughts from the shallow end of the pool. It’s like The Onion, only better. Austin is one of the most creative and talented writer’s I’ve found in the blogosphere so far.




Cool Fact:

If you e mail .jpg attachments to me at lesliejochase@gmail.com, your fro might just become famous!  Please e mail pix to me! I am running out of pictures of  hair, people!