I was a Wannabe Teenage Valley Girl


I loved when we got to visit my grandmother in Palm Springs. She lived in the same apartment complex as her brother, Uncle Lou, and his wife, Frieda.

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Grandma

Grandma also had a best friend named Frieda, so, on occasion, we weren’t sure which Frieda she was cursing when she’d say, “That Frieda! She should only croak!”

 

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That Frieda

Seeing Grandma was great, but, for me, the best part about going to Palm Springs was knowing we’d be spending lots of time with our friends from Encino.

They’d drive a couple of hours to be with us every time we were there, and stay in the condo next door. They referred to us as their friends from the East. Growing up 30 miles north of Chicago I always thought east meant New York, unless you were driving between Chicago and southern Wisconsin, in which case east meant Lake Michigan.

I was usually the only Chase kid available to travel with my parents because my much older brother was in college and then law school, and my much, much older sister was in grad school, or working. Maybe one or the other was able to join us from time to time, but most of the time it was just me, which was like, totally, Oh my God, far out fun!

Sharon is one year older than I. She and her parents came as a package deal of tennis, swimming, eating, and fun with her sister Michelle,  and brothers Marc, and Gregg. When they’d come into town, we all had such a blast it was as if the condos became an all-inclusive resort.

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Sharon and my Mom at the pool in Palm Springs

Sharon and I spent the entire time together because we were so close in age, and because we actually liked each other. You know how you go on vacations sometimes with people who have kids you have to be with but don’t like? That’s a drag and a half.

When Sharon turned 16 she drove separately from her parents to Palm Springs in her new Camero (I know!) The sun began to set behind the mountains at around 4:00, so Sharon and I would hop in the Camero (I know!) and cruise down Palm Canyon Drive being our fabulous selves.

One evening one of us (and I really don’t remember which one) thought it would be fun to see what would happen if we put Mr. Bubble in the Jacuzzi, so we stopped at a Long’s Drug store and picked up a bottle.

When we got back to the condos we changed into our bathing suits and went out to the pool area, which was right outside our sliding back doors. We didn’t go in the Jacuzzi  because we wanted to witness what we imagined would be a totally far out experience, Man. And, no, I have no idea where our parents were.

No one was at the pool at the time, and the sun had completely set, so it was easy for us to perform our experiment. We began by putting in a capful or two of Mr. Bubble and then turning on the jets. We achieved slight bubbleage, but not as much as we’d hoped. We had to adjust our calibrations precisely so we’d know the perfect quantity ratio to add in the future. We carefully and exactly measured out three or five capfuls. Better bubbleage, but not great.

We knew what we had to do to fulfill our mission, so we dumped the rest of the bottle into the Jacuzzi and waited patiently. After exactly, approximately three minutes, the bubbles got serious.

We watched and giggled as our concoction morphed into what looked like a solid, compact column of bubbles.

We burst out laughing when the column of bubbles became what could only be described as “The Leaning Tower of Bubbles.”

We became a tad concerned when the tower of bubbles split into tendrils, resembling a beast with many heads, one of which was slithering toward the pool.

When the Multi-headed Blob of Bubbles began to multiply and approach the back doors of all the other condos, we concluded that our experiment had most likely not been a good idea and ran inside, just ahead of a threatening swath of bubbles nipping at our feet.

In case you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you put Mr. Bubble in a Jacuzzi, our official answer is, “it’s not a great idea.”

Sharon and I spent the rest of that trip inside one or the other of the condos, where we were told to remain until the condo association was satisfied with the cleaning of the pool, Jacuzzi, and deck, financed by our parents. Upon our return home to our respective states, we each received fines and punishments.

But it was worth it.

 

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Sharon and I, in matching Mr. Bubble t-shirt and tiaras, pretending to re-enact the crime in L.A. at her Mom’s house the day after her daughter’s Bat mitzvah.

 

 

P. S. Yes, male friends of ours, and you know who you are, this is THE Sharon you met at our wedding in 1986. I remember that you wanted to take her out after the wedding for a night in Chicago she’d never forget. I believe one of you, who shall remain nameless, uttered this famous quote to her father, “Don’t worry, Sir. We’ll have her home in the morning.” If I remember correctly, that didn’t exactly work out in your favor.

 

 

“FRO-BACK FRIDAY!” Frizz Happens

These photos of my mom and me were taken c. 1970’s & 1980’s in Palm Springs, California, and Miami, Florida. They prove whether you’re in the hot, dry desert or the heat and humidity near the ocean,

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Mom at the pool in Palm Springs

FRIZZ HAPPENS!

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Richard, Mom, and me after playing tennis in Palm Springs. 

 

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On the ocean in Miami
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Mom sitting on the beach

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Mom and me on the beach

 

Thanks for taking all the pictures, Dad!

We want to see your fros! Please e mail jpeg photo attachments to lesliejochase@gmail.com. Add a little information about where and when the photos were taken, what your favorite song was at the time, ya know, stuff like that, and you and your hair could be featured in an upcoming  “Fro-Back Friday” blog post.

(Yes, I know it’s Sunday, but it feels like a Friday to me.)

Some of the Best Quotes After the Chicago Blackhawks Beat L.A. in Game 5

Tommy Hawk“A lot of times you thought the game was over,  especially for us…” — (Who else, but?) Patrick Kane

“The whole game was some pretty good hockey…” — Corey Crawford

“But a funny thing happened on the way to elimination: The Blackhawks tapped into the championship heart that led them to titles in 2010 and 2013.” –Shawn P. Roarke, NHL.com Editorial Director

“Handshake line at the United Center? These defending Stanley Cup champions wouldn’t do that to their fans…” — Bob Verdi, Blackhawks Team Historian

“… Coaching staffs might have aged, but if it was the first hockey game you ever watched and you are not hooked, consult your doctor immediately.” — Bob Verdi

Tommy Shaking his Tail Feathers“Handzus…who didn’t really need to shower after Game 4, clicked on the winner after being provided the puck by Saad and Kane.” — Bob Verdi

“Michal Handzus, that Slovakian speed demon you all know and love…” — John Greenberg, ESPNChicago.com

“…they won the old-fashioned playoff way, with shifts getting shorter and beards growing longer.” — Bob Verdi

“Handzus stars in ‘The Old Man and the See I Told Ya so'” — Chicago Tribune headline by Steve Rosenbloom

“But reliable Ben Smith snatched it back early in the third period, making it 4-4, and as time passed, not a creature was stirring the UC parking lots, not even a mouse.” — Bob Verdi

“How athletes on either side found the gumption to produce such stellar theater is a marvel, but now you know why you never see a fat hockey player.” — Bob Verdi

Blackhawks Hall of Fame
Our Chicago Blackhawks Hall of Fame

 

And, just in case you missed this from last week, I think it’s only fitting to run it again:

THE 25 REASONS I THINK THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS ARE SO COOL

1. They wear “Glamour-Don’t” uniforms and make them look great. I’m sure they never ask any of their teammates if their pads make their butts look big.

2. They are the definition of teamwork. At least publicly, no one acts like a star without whom the team would fall apart. And, even when one of the players that’s particularly good and whose presence is missed is out due to an upper or lower body injury, another player steps up and gets the job done. And, if a player from another team hits one of our guys in a particularly unnecessary or malicious way (legal hit, or not), one of our guys will see to it that justice is served.

3. They are the definition of humility. I’ve never heard a player take all the credit for a goal or even an assist. When interviewed they’ll say the only reason they were able to make that goal was because of a great pass from someone else.

4. They’re manly enough to wear helmets and mouth-guards.

If he can't be at the game, Richard gets as close as he can.
If he can’t be at the game, Richard gets as close as he can.

5. They take naps.

7. They talk to the press anytime and anywhere, and are gracious about it.

8. They have wives and kids.

9. The team is a family and their families are part of the Chicago Blackhawks extended family. (Notice the absence of the word “dysfunctional!”) Look, I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but unlike other athletes who live their lives like a reality TV show, the entire Chicago Blackhawks family is classy in public. (There might be exceptions, but that’s not my point.)

10. Moms and Dads are invited on trips with their sons and get to see what goes on behind the scenes.

11. Statistics. I learn something new from Eddie Olcyzk, Pat Foley, or Doc Emrick every time I watch or listen to a game. Someone keeps track of each player’s statistics, but someone also keeps track of how many years a trainer, physical therapist, doctor, equipment manager, and anyone else who has any affiliation with the organization has been with the team; and they are appreciated and their dedication is celebrated.

I LOVE Tommy Hawk!
I LOVE Tommy Hawk!

12. To my knowledge, there are no plastic surgeons in the locker room. These guys get slashed, get stitches, and get back out on the ice to play. As a Jewish Mother, I’m not saying I necessarily agree with this practice, but it does deserve to be mentioned. Each player wants to make a difference and knows he can’t do it sitting on the bench.

13. They give back to the City of Chicago in more ways than I can list here.

14. They know how to have fun. Check out BMO Harris Bank’s #TeamAlwaysWithYou commercials starring the Chicago Bulls and Chicago Blackhawks on YouTube. (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23teamalwayswithyou)

More fun: The team voted Patrick Sharp as the Biggest Prankster. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVOnXDOQ7NE)

15. They all grow beards during playoff season, some more manly than others, even though some of them are only 19 or 20 years old and still practically going through puberty.

16. They beat each other up on the ice but act in a very dignified and sportsman-like manner when shaking hands with the opposing team after a playoff series, whether they lost or won a few minutes prior. It’s especially nice when two guys who had just practically knocked each other senseless shake hands, slap each other on the back, and say, “Good games, eh?”

17. When one of the team members has a family crisis, the entire team offers support, as if whatever happened affected each of them personally.

18. Which brings me to their Alumni Association: (http://www.blackhawkalumni.com)

WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE DO

In 1987, a group of retired Blackhawk players got together to discuss their future in the Chicago community. Their main objective was to “give something back” to Chicago and to the sport of hockey. In that meeting they developed a three-fold mission statement for the non-profit Chicago Blackhawk Alumni Association.

• To provide a scholarship fund for the “most deserving” high school hockey players in Illinois.

• To become involved in community affairs and charitable causes.

• To protect and take care of their fellow alumni: “Players helping Players.”

19. The Chicago Blackhawks love their fans, and show it by raising their sticks in salute to them after every home game. Check out The Fan Zone (http://blackhawks.nhl.com/club/page.htm?id=86087)

20. They honor our county’s veterans at every home game.

21. Two words: Tommy Hawk. ‘Nough said.

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22.  Two more words: Jim Cornelison. Nobody sings our National Anthem better and no   stadium shows its appreciation more than Chicago Blackhawks fans. The United Center is called The Madhouse on Madison for a reason.

23. I don’t think any of the team members are from Chicago, yet they are great ambassadors of The City.

24. In short, they make Chicagoland proud.

25. And the best reason of all: I’m going to the playoff game tonight!!!

We didn’t win that night. BUT WE WON LAST NIGHT!

 

“FRO-BACK FRIDAY” Returns! This week’s episode: Lesson Learned! Use an Aboveboard Real Estate Agent Instead of Going Underground

 

 

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Apparently, people couldn’t get enough of this picture of my brother, Paul.

BUT FIRST, A FRO OR TWO!

 

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This is why I was called “Wild Boomba.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wrapped my secret treasure in a towel and snuck outside at 10 P.M. that August night. The kids were sleeping and Richard was “on watch” because he knew what I was about to do and didn’t want me — well, let’s face it —he didn’t want to get caught.

I tip-toed through the backyard to the most Northern part of the lawn next to the fence, and began digging a hole with a trowel. I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure no one could see me or the measly, unsteady, simple dim ray of light, like the thread of a spider, dribbling from the tiny keychain flashlight precariously clenched between my front teeth. I dug until I thought the hole deep enough, and then carefully unwrapped it.

There it was. A white, 4-inch tall, plastic St. Joseph statue, borrowed from my friend Juliet. Several of our friends had used one and swore it helped lead to a sale. We needed to sell our house fast because we wanted to purchase the house we live in now, but time was running out on our contingency. As hard as our broker tried there wasn’t much interest in our house, so we figured a little Divine Intervention couldn’t hurt.

I had followed Juliet’s instructions and buried St. Joe in the most northern part of the yard, upside down, facing the house. Or, at least I thought that’s how she had told me to do it.

Richard and I waited for a few days. Nothing happened. Our realtor had no news, which wasn’t good news, for us. Deep down I knew it was because we’re Jewish and Jews aren’t supposed to believe in — let alone expect miracles from — false idols, for God’s sake.

One week later I was sitting in the backyard, enjoying the beautiful breeze and the nuance of color as the leaves began to change. The kids would be home from school soon, so I decided to take advantage of a few moments of quiet. As I sat on the chaise lounge my eyes began to close. I didn’t fall asleep; I just wanted to observe the scents of late summer blossoms and, wait! Did I just see what I thought I saw?

It couldn’t be! I refused to open even one eye, even though the image felt as if it were burning through my eyelids. I had to open my eyes to believe them, but I did so, slowly.

Saint Joe had risen! He was standing on top of the mound of dirt right side up, staring at me.

I steadied myself as I stood from the chaise lounge; my eyes never losing sight of him. I couldn’t breathe.

“How can this be?” I thought to myself. “I buried you! How did you resurrect yourself?” I squealed at Saint Joe. He was only a few inches tall, but the thing was going to strike me dead. I just knew it. “I’m going to be struck by lighting,” I cried as I ran into the house beneath the cloudless, beautiful blue sky.

Once safely inside, I locked the door, and fell to my knees. Edgar Allan Poe’s short story The Telltale Heart retold itself over and over in my head until I thought I would go mad, or, at least, suffer over-acuteness of my senses. I was pretty sure that a telltale Saint would trump a telltale heart, as far as the police were concerned.

The kids were due home any minute. I had to figure out a way to un-spook my face before they walked in the door. In an attempt to erase all traces of panic from my face, I grabbed the compact from my purse and flopped powder all over, which I realized, after looking in a mirror, only made my pale face whiter.

I struggled to make my breath return from turbo to normal. Kids are smart They know stuff. They sense it. I didn’t want them to be scared, or think something was horribly…wait a minute.

I remembered that when I had been inside the house earlier doing laundry, the landscapers had come. I walked back out into the yard and noticed all the soil had been overturned. Joe must have been dug up and left for us to find, in case we happened to be looking for him.

Divine crisis averted.

Using St. Joseph to sell a house was a concept I had learned about from our friends Pete and Sue who needed to sell their house quickly because they had started to build a new one. As Pete walked into a local monastery gift shop to buy his own St. Joseph statue, he looked up and saw a sign of gargantuan proportions that read, “ST. JOSEPH STATUES ARE NOT TO BE USED FOR THE PURPOSE OF REAL ESTATE TRANSACTIONS.”

Pete wasn’t going to be swayed by that sign, so he went up to the nearest Monk and told him he wanted to buy a St. Joseph statue. The Monk very graciously began showing Pete around the gift shop, pointing out St. Joseph statues in the $500 range.

“Oh,” Pete began, “I can’t afford one that big and beautiful. I need one that’s much smaller.” The Monk obliged and showed him statues in the $200 range. Again, Pete told the Monk, “Thank you, but we are of meager means. I really can’t afford one that expensive either.” The Monk smiled as if understanding the poor soul’s plight.

That is until Pete asked, “Do you have a plastic one in the $10 range?” When the Monk asked him if he planned to use it for a real estate transaction Pete, the perfect, observant Catholic boy looked right into the Monk’s eyes and said, “No! Of course not!”

The Monk rolled his eyes under his hoodie and wrapped up Pete’s purchase, knowing full well what he intended to do with the statue. But, the Monk had the last laugh because Pete buried the statue where and how he thought it was supposed to be buried and the next day the house across the street sold. Either he had buried it the wrong way or in the wrong place, or that Monk had placed a curse on him.

Eventually Pete and Sue’s house sold, and they believed that the St. Joe statue had helped. That’s where Juliet comes into the story. Juliet bought a St. Joe and even though she and her husband are Jewish, she must have buried it correctly because their house sold, too, after which she lent the statue to me.

After recovering from the resurrection of St. Joe in my yard I called Juliet who told me I had placed it in the wrong part of the yard. It was supposed to be right side up in the middle of the yard facing the house. So that’s why it didn’t work.

Later that night, as Richard stood watch, I went out to the backyard with my little dribbly flashlight balanced in my teeth once again, and reburied St. Joe in the middle of the yard, right side up, facing the house. Still, no dice. No one seemed the least bit interested in buying our house. It had been shunned.

Feeling confused about the proper way to bury a St. Joe statue for real estate purposes, I looked on the internet to see if I had done it properly either time. I read that there was no right or wrong way to bury the statue. Some people believed you should bury it in the front of the house while others said it should be buried in the back of the house. Some said you should bury it on the property you wanted to purchase, which, they pointed out, also involved trespassing. Trespassing? I should be worried about trespassing? I had already buried a religious icon that technically I shouldn’t even know about. I became a Bat Mitzvah, for Christ’s sake!  I read more. The article also said that the use of a St. Joseph statue was at best a “silly and borderline blasphemous ritual.” I began to agree with that statement. Cross my heart.

Then I read the most important part of all. After you use a St. Joseph statue to sell your house, you are supposed to either leave it in the ground or dig it up and put it in a place of honor in your new house. Oh! I saw what I had done wrong. I had borrowed Juliet’s St. Joe instead of buying my own. I promptly washed it off and gave it back to her. I didn’t buy another one and our house eventually sold — at a loss I felt we deserved— but it sold.

We should have known better. When we first saw our current house it was plastered with religious icons everywhere. There was the Saint of the Water Heater, the Saint of the washer and dryer, and the Saint of the white carpeting. There were depictions of the crucifixion of Christ EVERYWHERE around the house. No wonder St. Joseph didn’t work for us. He wasn’t going to help some clueless Jews move into a house formerly owned by good Roman Catholics whose son was a Priest! There was even a huge photo of him on the wall shaking hands with the Pope.

Luckily, before the previous owners left, they took most of the religious icons with them. We found a few little crosses taped up here and there, and sometimes, 14 years later, we still come across a tiny, plastic Saint this or that guarding something in the house. We don’t dare remove it, and we never look directly at it.

Epilogue

I was not proud that I tried to use a religious icon to sell my house, but I felt a little bit better about it after I found the website www.thecatholiccompany.com . You can buy the book St. Joseph, My Real Estate Agent http://www.catholiccompany.com/st%2Djoseph%2Dmy%2Dreal%2Destate%2Dagent%2Dbook-i11862/ (also available in Spanish!) There are also many other St. Joseph items from which to choose, not to mention the Saint of this, and the Saint of that…